Love: Undefined and Infinite.

Releasing a framework of rules and expectations and embracing infinite love

My soul longs for oneness. And my soul longs for love. Not the version tauted in churches, but the infinite all encompassing kind of love that has the power to shape galaxies and shift reality.

I think that’s the reason I’m here in this lifetime: to love and be loved. To learn to trust and connect, to open myself vulnerably to receive. I think this can heal lifetimes of wounds inflicted on the soul. And I’m embracing it.

But I cannot do that within a framework with rules about who to love or what kind of love is appropriate.

Rules on Love

Many of the reasons I left christianity can be summed up in this: Love was conditional and limited and controlled. There were rules about who to love and how to love and what kind of love was safe and acceptable and allowable. Rules on what was expected, though not always consented. Stipulations on how love could be given and in what amounts.

The church set boundaries and limitations on something that was meant to be holy and free for all. They asserted their own agenda by not only implementing rules over the conduct of their members, but teaching and instituting beliefs about who was deserving of love and acceptance, and who was not.

The hypercontrolled version of “unconditional love” was fabricated by the religious institution and packaged neatly in a box that I was expected to integrate into my way of being.

I can’t stand by that anymore. Love is not a tool to manipulate. It’s not something to limit or withold or control. Love isn’t meant to be conditional.

Defining the Undefinable

I believe that love is infinite. And that all beings are deserving of love. Maybe deserving isn’t quite the right word because it implies having earned it or that there are some who are undeserving. When really, it belongs to all of us in all capacities.

And maybe belong isn’t the right word because love isn’t something to own or have or lose, it just is. It’s less of something we possess and more of an awakening to something about ourselves and the world of souls around us. It’s an unveiling of something deep and raw and wildly beautiful.

When we love, we realize we aren’t so separate. Love is a mirror for us to glimpse who we are in the face of another. We have different physical bodies, separate forms, but love allows us to see that there is a current flowing within all of life that connects us all.

Love is…

Love is the purest energy in existence. It’s encompassed by feelings, experiences, behaviors. It’s a way of being that transcends all bounds of time and physicality.

Love is meant to be shared. Without limit. Without condition. Without definition.

Love is a homecoming. Bits and pieces of soul energy coming together. Belonging. Feeling known. Everything connected. We’re all one. 

Love is our bridge to something infinite. Something sacred.

To love is to say, “I see your soul and you are utterly magnificent.”

To love is to be honest. To speak up and speak out. To share truth, even when it’s difficult.

To love is to extend grace and peace.

To love is to trust. Trust someone else. Trust yourself. Trust that your place in the universe, this exact moment here and now, is fertile soil for growth. To trust the rhythms and tides and waves as they come.

To love is to let go. To release. To not hold so tightly. Nothing to contain or control. Nothing to keep. To love is to set free.

To love is to witness divinity and to become one with all that is holy. To become extensions of god.

To love is to reach into the cosmos and grasp onto something sacred.

Something beautiful. Something divine.

This kind of love, this kind of beauty, this is something worth living for.