Creating New Rules, Finding New Magic
"When I allow myself to expand and be open, I discover my own truth, my own wild kind of magic, and it heals me."
There are lots of rules about how to be good. How to survive. How to make money and live within this construct we’ve collectively created. What to say and how to act and how to be a decent human…one who also has the most stuff and gets the most attention.
I wonder what life would be like if instead of rules and regulations, black and white declarations about what is good and what is bad, what is treasure and what is trash, what if there were invitations extended, encouraging us to explore our own wildness? Instead of obedience, what if there was curiosity? Instead of conforming, maybe discovery. Instead of restriction, pure untethered freedom.
Out to create a rhythm of living that feels more authentic, I hunt and I scavenge, earnestly foraging for things that resonate with me, things that feel in alignment with my soul, apart from a group or collective. When I allow myself to expand and be open, I discover my own truth, my own wild kind of magic, and it heals me.
I learned that it is good to be curious, to ask questions, to sit with the unknown and become friends with it. To embrace wonder. Not everything is meant to be known.
I learned to lay out under the stars and not try to count them. There’s no need to quantify what’s infinite.
I learned that if I close my eyes and feel the sun on my skin, if I let it encompass all that I am, I understand god a little better.
I learned to spend nights out under the moon because I find clarity in her light, the one who’s continually changing and shifting.
I learned to hug the trees and whisper my secrets into their leaves. And they, in turn, protect me.
I learned to stand in the wind and let her take me. To surrender to her breath and movement. She moves me.
I learned that when I put my hands in the soil and get covered in dirt, I find healing. There is peace and purity in the earth.
I learned of the power of rivers and lakes. I learned that if I jump right in and let it cover my skin, I feel like god herself has kissed me.
I learned to go back to the places where I grew up and became. The grounds I once walked and lived and played upon have incredible power to heal me.
I learned to dance alone. To strip my clothes and move my body in the ways that she calls me. To honor her shape and her beauty and movement.
I learned to sit on the floor of my shower with all the lights off and let the hot water rain down on me as I pray.
I learned to allow space for the things that haunt me. To be curious instead of resisting. I learned that darkness and pain are part of transforming.
I learned to look in the mirror, into my eyes, and actually ask myself how I am.
I learned to feel my feelings. To grieve and scream and fall to the ground. I taught myself to be primal.
I taught my body how to let go. I learned I can trust her.
I taught myself how to survive.
And that is what I call magic.
“I learned to hug the trees and whisper my secrets into their leaves. And they, in turn, protect me.”
So beautifully written. ❤️
“I taught my body how to let go. I learned I can trust her.”